I am in a situation which holds a huge opportunity for learning and growth to happen in me. Don’t you just love those? Aren’t they just fun? I am waiting on God for a number of things – direction, open doors…. more direction. We women don’t always wait so well, but I am doing my best. I am purposing to be patient. I’ll have to let you know how that goes.
As a woman, I want to plow ahead. I want to figure things out – what I should do, where I’m headed, what will ultimately happen, how I should handle things, make a plan, git-r-done. But in this situation, there are no plans to be made. There is nothing to do except to trust God and wait. Sigh. God has brought me here almost kicking and screaming. Willingly, yes, but also with some fight in me. I know the plan I would choose, and would really rather He just execute that strategy. Really, God, I’ve got it all figured out! No such luck for me; or maybe no greater blessing for me.
Knowing what you want, what you believe God has for you, and knowing there is no way on His green earth you can make your dream a reality…. that is a place where there is such an enormous lesson in trust and obedience, in waiting with peace in the midst of anxiety, in overcoming fear, in learning how to not become bitter or jealous, in giving up control and truly surrendering daily (okay, hourly). There is nothing that I can do to bring about the end that I desire. Nothing. Just sit back and wait to see what God will do. This is such a hard thing, and yet so easy. So stressful, and so amazingly peaceful.
I have been on a journey for the last couple of years getting my mind wrapped around this loving God that I serve. He loves me; this I know. I have known my entire life that God is a God of love, and that He loves me. I have never doubted it. This recent journey, though, has engrained that truth so much deeper in my heart. His love for me is so great. No fear can live in my heart alongside God’s love; there is no room. His perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). You can take that statement literally. No anxiety can reside near His peace. His grace is sufficient for me (2 Cor 12:9), and His peace passes all understanding (Phil 4:7) – mine included. The uncertainty feels thick in my mind at times, but God has reassured me that there really is no uncertainty. His plan is His plan, and it will happen in His time. It is already in place and working in my life, whether I can see it or not.
Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is such a great verse, so reassuring and comforting. But nowhere in this verse does God say He will share those plans with us ahead of His time. Let’s face it, sometimes He doesn’t even give us a hint. Our job is to trust in His timing as much as we trust in His plan. For me, that’s the more difficult part. Come on, God, spill just a bit! Let me in on the details! Not happening. Instead God is asking me a question.
Do you trust Me?
I trust you, God.
Do you really trust Me?
Yes, I really trust You. But could You just….
No…. do you trust Me?
God is asking us for complete trust. Not just surface, I’m-a-good-Christian, say-the-right-words trust. He is looking for deep, down-to-our-bones, permeating-through-our-every-cell trust. This does not come lightly, and He does not view it lightly. It so greatly pleases Him.
I am waiting on God and trusting Him. I have laid out before Him the desires of my heart. Desires I believe He has placed in me. I have prayed a very bold prayer. This prayer is big. Huge. So much bigger than me. When I was writing it down, I actually felt a little shaky. It is something so outside of myself, there is no way I can accomplish it on my own. I have had these desires in me for a while, but have never compiled a list and written it down before. It is a big step toward a very big dream, but I serve a very big God.
This morning I was reading The Circle Maker, and in it Mark Batterson talks about Cornelius and Peter and the visions they each had (Acts 10). Cornelius’ vision happened first, and Peter’s during his prayer time the following day. It occurred to me that if Peter hadn’t been in prayer and focusing on God, he probably would not have been in a posture to receive the vision. Jesus had previously told Peter that he would play a major part in the establishment of the church, and through the visions of these two strangers, Christianity came to the Gentiles. It had already been spoken, promised, and the plan set in place. Still, it required diligence, perseverance and faith on Peter’s part for the prophecy/vision/dream to become a reality.
As you wait on your dream, your desire, your future, I encourage you to trust God wholly. Spend quiet time with Him each day. Get to know Him intimately. Focus on Him. Therein lies your hope. God’s plan for you will not be thwarted…. as long as you are trusting in and waiting on Him. I know, for me, I don’t want to do anything to hinder, postpone or completely trip up what God intends for my life. And you know how we can do that? By running ahead with our plan, instead of waiting on His.
God is able to do infinitely more than I could ever ask or even imagine (Eph 3:20), and believe me, I can imagine big!
I dare you to dream today, and then I dare you to trust God with it.