the road to beautiful

…a journey of the heart

awake21.org – a fast experience – day eighteen

  • February 1, 2012 11:52 am
Wednesday 02.01.12 – day eighteen

God told me at the beginning of this fast that He would make me a Mary.  It is something that has been on my heart for months; something I’ve been moving towards.  Let me explain.

Mary and Martha – sisters – friends of Jesus – two very different ladies.

Luke 10:38-42 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what He taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Martha was distracted.  Mary was attentive.  It makes me want to scream, Martha!  Jesus is in your house!  What are you thinking?

But this has been me far too many times.

While Martha was in the kitchen cooking and stressing, Mary was at Jesus’ feet soaking Him in.  Martha was practical with a good head on her shoulders.  She knew what needed to be done, and she did it.  I imagine she was organized and in charge.  She was straightforward and not afraid to speak her mind.  She got a little bossy with Jesus, so she was probably really bossy with everyone else around her.  Mary on the other hand was, well, a little more on the dramatic side.  She was passionate.  She wore her heart on her sleeve, fell in love easily and held on tightly.  As a child, she was probably running carelessly through a field of flowers while Martha was learning to bake bread at her mother’s side.

Although I have some Mary in me, I have always been bent more like Martha.  While my heart is sitting at Jesus’ feet, my mind is sorting through my list of to-do’s.  I have even rushed through my quiet time just so I could mentally check that off the list.  I am a doer, a planner, a get-it-done kind of girl.  And while I’m getting it done, don’t even think about changing my plans.  And if it (whatever ‘it’ happens to be) doesn’t get done… man, am I grouchy!  I get caught up in the details of life, distracted, concerned about things that really don’t matter.  I admit I sometimes have a momentary freak out and later think, What the heck was that?!   I am in the proverbial kitchen of life burning the roast and barking orders because I just know all my guests will starve.  I have had to say to myself, Simmer down, girl!   It makes me wonder if God is shaking His head and rolling His eyes as He watches.  What a patient Father He is.

I guess what I really should say is that was me.  I am changing daily.  Growing and loving Him more.  These days, I have been more like Mary.  I just want to sit at His feet, hear His voice, know Him more, love Him deeper.  Let the food burn; who cares if we starve.  Jesus is in the house, and that’s all that matters.

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