the road to beautiful

…a journey of the heart

awake21.org – a fast experience – day four

  • January 18, 2012 7:21 pm
Wednesday 01.18.12

Happy Wednesday!  The fast has gone well so far.  Actually, I am loving it.  I asked God on Monday to show me what all the hubbub is about fasting.  What is so special about it anyway?  I know, I know… it is denying your flesh and whatnot, but I want more.  I want something from God especially for me that will mark my life.  I want to become a faster.  Did I just say that?  Oh, yes I did.

I am pretty much sticking with my food plan with just a few alterations.  Protein drinks, salad, chicken, tuna, eggs… do you see a protein pattern here?  I have been extremely busy and tired this week, so I have to confess.. I have hit the snooze button every morning.  I will purpose to do better starting tomorrow.  I am still having a morning quiet time, but my few minutes of extra sleep has cut it shorter than it should be.

So what of the spiritual journey of this fast to date?  Well, let me just say that God is so freaking awesome.  He is so faithful.  It’s good that He can read my mind because sometimes He just leaves me speechless.

The last three days have been kind of heavy.  Not in a bad way, I have just really felt God.  It’s different and tangible and really hard to explain.  The headaches I mentioned on Sunday – God showed me something last night about them.  I have suffered with headaches – mild, bad and really bad – since I was 17.  I can still remember my first headache.  It was so intense that it scared me.  I will sometimes have a headache that lasts for days or even weeks.  I have had to learn to cope and just accepted them as what it’s like to be me.  I don’t know what causes them (other than stress, sickness, not eating) and have prayed for healing for years.  Then a few months ago, completely out of the blue, God told me, “I want to heal you.”  Some healing did take place, but my headaches didn’t stop completely.  Last night He showed me that it is an attack from the enemy, and I have authority over it.  Now, I knew this already and have taken authority over the pain for many years.  I was raised in church; I know what to do.  But last night this knowledge was different; it became more than mere knowledge.  It’s like He implanted authority in me; He handed it to me.

Wednesday evening –

I got a raise at work today!!  A substantial raise!!  Talk about a shock.  It was completely unexpected.  Praise God!  (Insert big ol’ smiley face here.)

On a different note – I have issued an alert of the emergency pull yourself together… you are fasting! system.  My kids are gone this evening, and I am home alone.  Now when that happens, which is not often, I just want to eat junk food and sit my butt down in front of the TV.  I don’t want to do any of the ‘mom’ things that I normally have to do.  Not to worry, though.  I am armed with tuna, celery and a good book.  I will conquer.

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